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Who I Am.

February 2010: Soul's Journey

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I am ____________.


Think of all the ways you finish that sentence. We use that phrase as a way to describe ourselves or define who we are. 

 


 

How do you define who you are? Does your sense of self come from what you do, how much money you make, or the roles you have?

We learn to define who we are at an early age, first by the name we are given. I am Joe. Or, I am Suzie. Then, by our behavior. I am a good girl. I am a bad boy. Then, by qualities. I am stupid. I am successful. I am athletic. I am pretty. We see that our family and society find certain things about us they consider acceptable or unacceptable. Before we are even aware, we begin to define ourselves in this limited way. We begin to view who we are as good or bad. Often we become consumed with the image of who we are and how others perceive us. We allow these external reference points to define us instead of knowing those are simply how we're expressing ourselves on this level.

Part of the way we define ourselves at times is by comparison. If your concept of who you are is based on how much money you have, and someone you know makes a lot more money than you, do you judge yourself because of that?

Or, if your identity is tied up in being a good person, and you see someone not being of service or even breaking the law, does that make you better than them? 

Anything that follows the phrase "I am" begins to create its own energy pattern and we begin to live it. Our behaviors are often defined by the way we see ourselves. We become conditioned to see ourselves a certain way, as not enough, as limited, even as sinners or defective in some way. Or as better than because I am ____________.

When external reference points change, our life can feel very chaotic, unstable, because we have built our sense of self on something that is out of our control and impermanent. On the ego/personality level, we often have a very limited definition of who we are. What happens when the beauty, wealth, success, roles, career, relationship, etc. ends? Who are you then? You will often hear yourself or someone else say during these times, "I dont know who I am anymore." The ego creates separation by doubting or believing it is anything less than perfect.

The Soul always knows. Always Loves. Always Flows. It simply says, "I Am." 

We allow our roles, qualities, ancestry, past mistakes, addictions, enneagrams, astrological signs, etc. to define us. These are all just one level of who we are as multidimensional beings. They are ways we express ourselves and learn on this journey, not the truth of who we are. 

When the ego/personality part of us is asked, "Who are you?" The answer is usually based on some external reference point. There is often some kind of judgment attached, either there is a need to defend or justify who "I am" so you see me as I do, or there is a need to hide, because it's not safe for others to see who "I am." "I am a successful entrepreneur." "I'm just a stay-at-home mom." 

When the Soul is asked, "Who are you?" The answer comes from a place of deepest wisdom, of ancient knowing. "I am the essence that holds the Truth of who you are, that sees through all the illusions. I am Love." 

When we go to the level of asking, "Who am I?" Or, saying, "I dont know who I am anymore," we are on the ego level and creating separation. The Soul always knows. Always Loves. Always Flows. It simply says, "I Am."

The doubt, the questions, the loneliness we feel are all ways we seek to find our True Selves on a Soul level. All the roles we play, all the ways we have expressed ourselves are part of our learning process and our awakening. There is nothing to be judged. At some point we all begin to awaken to this Soul level. The old ways just no longer work for us or bring satisfaction. There is a yearning on the deepest level to open to more. When the old reference points are gone, it's part of the expansion process, part of the Soul awakening.

There is a story about how Michelango created the famous David sculpture. When he was asked how he created this masterpiece he said, "I looked at the marble and removed anything that wasn't David."

That works for us as well. At some point we all begin to hold this highest vision of ourselves and let go of what is not part of our essence. We let go not because there's something wrong with us the way we are, but because we are so much more.

When you see through the eyes of your Soul, you see the wonder that is you, the essence that is beyond words. And, you see the Light within everyone.

When the ego asks, "Who am I now?" The Soul simply says, "I Am."   

Dixie Clark, MS, MSS, LPC is Director and co-founder of Morning Star Center, a holistic wellness center. A licensed counselor and ordained minister, she holds a masters degree in both counseling and spiritual science, and is currently obtaining her doctorate in spiritual science. With over 26 years experience in mind/body therapies, she combines psychology and spirituality to help people release emotional blocks, heal past trauma and change limiting beliefs to open to soul awareness.

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